“When you see someone living something awful, a rocket of desire for their resolution shoots out of you. And then, if you start focusing upon their resolution, you’ll start feeling better right away. And now, you’re part of the current that is part of the solution.” – Abraham – Hicks
What happens when someone you love is stuck — stuck in a horrible situation, going through a truly turbulent time? It hurts so much to see them suffer, and you feel their pain — deeply. At times you might even feel like you are vicariously taking on their troubles. You are extremely frustrated — so what should you do? What CAN you do?
This is one of the most trying life scenarios we often face, especially if the “stuck” person is very close to us, such as an immediate family member. (And by stuck, I mean emotionally stuck, not someone dealing with a disease or acute health crisis, because that is a whole different case.) If it is a child — as their parent, you may be able to influence them, guide them or give them certain limitations. But if it is another adult, that is much more of a gray area.
Here are four points to keep in mind if you caught up in such a situation:
1) Stick to your own positive life path and don’t let yourself be pulled down. Though the troubled person definitely impacts your day-to-day reality, don’t let yourself be dragged down. If that should happen, you will end up a mess, and you certainly will not be helpful to the person in need. Despite being susceptible to the negative energy of the situation, make sure to keep your own personal light and energy strong and bright. Of course, this might not be an easy task, but stay focused and work on it — the benefit of remaining in a more balanced mindset is huge.
2) Offer words of encouragement and support. Of course, this is the most common and practical advice. Try not to berate the person, argue with them, shout at them or any similar behavior. Be positive, optimistic and offer clear and gentle guidance. Even though you are sure you know how to solve their issue, they might see things differently and may not be open if you push too hard. They may not be open to it no matter what you say or suggest. Just understand that, as difficult as it might seem.
3) Focus on the solution, not the problem. This is essential! When you get into the loop of extreme negative thinking, it only serves to make matters worse and perpetuate a bad situation. You need to uplift — really get your heart and thoughts wrapped around a solution. Give your full energetic attention a plan of positive action. Think clearly and move forward! Reread the quote from Abraham at the beginning of this article.
4) Understand that everyone must choose their own life path — good or bad. You can’t live your life for someone else. You can’t live their life for them. You can only steer your own personal course and do the best you can. You need to acknowledge this. Even if you try to encourage, support and lift someone from despair, or change their “poor” life choices, nothing may change. They have to WANT to change. That is the only true catalyst.
One last reminder, let your love flow unconditionally — and make sure the other person is clearly aware of this. Unconditional love is a most amazing and powerful healing force…
Affirmations to help keep strong and focused:
- Focusing clearly on a solution is an enlightened way to help someone else going through hardship.
- Self-empowerment and positive thinking help me achieve balance and confidence along my own life path.
- I love my family and friends unconditionally, and I tell them often of my appreciation.
