Improving Relationships – Sharing Words of Kindness and Caring

What better way to enhance any relationship than to freely offer generous words of appreciation and caring? This is such a simple action, but I believe it is too often overlooked as we sometimes tend to take those close to us for granted! And even if we sincerely care about our child, parent, friend, spouse, partner — do we tell them often enough? Do we reassure them that we are there for them?

My own mother had a difficult time saying “I love you” — not because she didn’t feel it, but because of her upbringing. The attitude of parenting in her time was more stoic. Taking care of the children was essential, but those warm, gushy “I love you’s” were frowned upon. I don’t exactly understand why that was, but it was the parenting mode that my mother had modeled herself after when she became a mother. I know that she loved me dearly — she certainly took great care of me and nurtured me to the best of her ability. But the flow of emotion that is generally encouraged today was lacking in my childhood experience.

It was only in later years, when I began to break away from negative past patterns, that I was able to share my heart in more ebullient and bold ways. When she and my father moved over 2,000 miles away toward semi-retirement, there was a big distance gap in the bond that we had shared. However, it was during this major parting and subsequent visits, that I finally felt the freedom and courage to be able to say a heartfelt “I love you so much” to her, something that had made her oddly uncomfortable in prior years. She began to return that warmth verbally too. It was a beautiful achievement that we were able to share our feelings a bit later in life because all too soon my mother was gone.

The point here is to have the courage, the motivation, the desire to let those close to you know how important they are, how much their presence and caring adds to YOUR life. Validate their meaningfulness to you. Often and joyfully acknowledge the vibrancy of their bond with you.

Think about how amazing YOU feel when you are told that you are loved, needed, adored and respected! It makes us simply glow when we hear these tender words from close family and friends. So bring more statements of endearments into the lives of those surrounding you. They will be grateful!

Use powerful, but simple phrases like:

• I love you
• I care for you
• I appreciate you
• You are important to me
• I am so happy that you are in my life
• When you smile, I smile!
• Your well-being and happiness is so important to me

Make a real effort this week to try this — say them with meaning, with feeling and of course in your own authentic words. This kind of talk on a regular basis is heartwarming to all. Knowing how I felt about my mother’s obvious lack of “I love you” statements, I went in the opposite direction with my own children, keeping the emotional and verbal affection overflowing for them. Despite years of divorce issues with their father, bestowing those affirmations of love upon my kids kept them close to me. They knew I was there for them and they were secure about my unconditional love. They are now adults and we share strong communicative and loving bonds.

Affirmations for focusing on kindness and caring:

• I love to see people’s joyful reactions when I tell them how much I care about them.
• Every day I take time to express genuine kindness, consideration and respect toward others.
• Thoughtful, loving actions toward others is an important part of who I am and what I do.